How to Heal Your Inner Child: Why It Matters and Where to Begin

Many people come to therapy feeling stuck in patterns they can’t explain—self-doubt, people-pleasing, anxiety, or intense emotional reactions that feel bigger than the moment. Often, these experiences are connected to unmet emotional needs or wounds from childhood. That’s where inner child healing comes in.

What Is the Inner Child?
Your inner child is the part of you that holds the memories, feelings, and experiences from your early years. It's not just a metaphor—it represents real emotional and developmental stages you went through as a child. When we experience neglect, trauma, or a lack of emotional attunement during childhood, parts of us can get “stuck,” emotionally frozen in time.

These inner child parts often show up in adulthood through:

• Difficulty trusting others

• Fear of abandonment

• Harsh self-criticism

• Struggles with boundaries

• Anxiety, depression, or chronic shame

Healing the inner child helps you reconnect with your authentic self, develop self-compassion, and create new patterns of safety, love, and trust.

Why Inner Child Work Is Important in Therapy?

As a trauma-informed therapist using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), IFS (Internal Family Systems), and Somatic Experiencing, I help clients identify and connect with the younger parts of themselves that are still holding onto pain, fear, or unmet needs. These parts aren’t bad—they’re protective. But they need attention, compassion, and healing.

Working with the inner child helps you:

• Understand your emotional triggers

• Release past pain stored in your body and nervous system

• Build self-worth from the inside out

• Create new narratives about who you are and what you deserve

Understanding the Developmental Stages of the Inner Child

Different ages of development have different emotional and relational needs. Inner child healing often involves recognizing which age(s) your wounded parts are stuck in.

Here’s a simplified breakdown:

Infancy (0–1 year):

• Needs: Safety, soothing, physical care

• Wounds: Feeling unsafe, neglected, emotionally abandoned

Toddler (1–3 years):

• Needs: Autonomy, being seen, emotional mirroring

• Wounds: Being shamed for expressing needs or emotions

Early Childhood (3–6 years):

• Needs: Exploration, imagination, validation

• Wounds: Harsh discipline, being told you’re “too much” or “not enough”

Middle Childhood (6–12 years):

• Needs: Belonging, achievement, confidence-building

• Wounds: Bullying, criticism, emotional invalidation

Adolescence (13–18 years):

• Needs: Identity, independence, peer support

• Wounds: Rejection, parentification, emotional neglect, abuse

By identifying which developmental stage was impacted, we can tailor your healing journey in therapy.

How to Begin Healing Your Inner Child?

Healing is a process. You don’t have to do it all at once—but you do need a safe space to begin.

Here are several ways to start:

1. Practice Inner Listening

Start noticing your emotional reactions. When you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:

“How old do I feel right now?”
This simple question helps you access the part of you that might be reacting from a younger emotional age.

2. Name and Nurture the Inner Child

Give your inner child a name, or visualize what they look like. Begin offering comfort:

• “I see you.”

• “It makes sense you’re scared.”

• “You don’t have to do this alone anymore.”

3. Reparenting in Therapy

Therapeutic modalities like IFS help you dialogue with different parts of yourself—including the inner child. In EMDR, we use bilateral stimulation to process traumatic memories and install new, nurturing beliefs. Through Somatic Experiencing, we gently track body sensations and allow stored emotions to release and integrate.

4. Create Safety in Your Nervous System

You can’t heal the inner child in a state of stress. Somatic tracking (noticing sensations in your body) and grounding techniques like deep breathing, movement, and mindfulness help create an internal environment where healing is possible.

5. Reclaim Joy and Play

Inner child healing isn’t just about pain—it’s about joy, too. Give yourself permission to play, create, explore, and do things you loved as a child. This helps rebuild trust with your inner child and strengthens your capacity for delight and resilience.

Healing Is Possible—and You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Working with your inner child can feel vulnerable, but it’s also deeply empowering. In my practice, I support adults across Washington State—including Seattle, Bellevue, Tacoma, Olympia, Everett, Redmond, and more—who are ready to stop surviving and start healing.

If you’re ready to reconnect with your inner child, let’s take that step together.

Want support on your healing journey?
Reach out here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.